I'm not even sure what to write about tonight...I just know I haven't written in awhile.. I'm sad tonight and I don't know why... I started crying on the way home from Larissa's house... I miss him. Still.. but why?? Ever since I saw him Saturday night I feel like I've taken a few steps back in my progress. I know he was with her... but I don't know, I still miss what we had and how I felt when I was with him... when he held me.
I'm so lost right now. I don't know how he could do this to me... I don't understand how he's ok with everything... with lying to me. Why am I not enough? I've asked this question SO many times...
I want to get in my car and just drive.. forever. I'm taking a trip down to Missouri on Friday to see a friend for the weekend... I think the car ride will be good for me, but it will be lots of time to think...which I do too much of already. I don't know... I can't wait to get away from here. I feel like I do a good job of keeping myself busy and avoiding everything that's happened... but is that really a good thing? I should be facing everything... I should be fighting...
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