I don't really miss him anymore... I miss who I thought he was, how he made me feel and my plans for our future... but I don't miss him. He's a liar and she's a whore, they are perfect for eachother.. he can go play house/family with her and her kids all he wants.. I do not want someone like that in my life.. Now all I have to do is repair the damage and move on... which is easier said than done.
I've been getting better. I'm ok with my life for the most part. I mean, I hate living with my parents in Iowa... but I have a good job, great friends and I'm starting to love my body and who I am as a person. Now I just want to find someone who loves me for me. Is that a hard thing to do? Is surely seems so... for me anyway.
It's going to be a big step for me to trust someone now.. I'm scared as hell to put myself out there again. I don't want to get hurt... It sucks because I know what I want... and some of those things require a partner.. Mostly, though, I just want to have someone to lean on, depend on, share life with, love, and wake up next to in the morning...
Everything in life is about choices. We have free will for a reason and we are able to chose our own destiny. I don't think our life can be pre-determined... there's just no way. I've made choices that have led me to where I am in life... so why do I keep complaining about where I'm at? It's my fault I'm here. It's what I chose, right?
I need someone to prove all men aren't like him...
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